You Can't Always Get What You Want

GEEK CONTENT: Low
SENTIMENTAL CONTENT: Medium

I recently had a conversation with my wife in which I said something along the lines of "I feel like a I've lost a large piece of me over the last few years."

What did I mean? What was I missing?

The part that loved to play basketball or racquetball with my buddies instead of watching TV. The part that used to meet my buddies in the park or at a gym a couple times a week and compare martial arts styles. The part that climbed mountains carrying everything he needed on his back. The part that took a break to admire the sheer silent beauty as he sipped the most wonderful water flowing off a glacier. The part that rode a bike down that mountain through mud and muck, hollering at the top of his lungs for sheer joy.

I don't mean to say that I've been held back or have had no exciting experiences. Our White-water rafting trips (though less frequent with the gas increases and strain on vacation time) and showboarding trips attest to that fact. What I mean is that for many reasons, mostly dealing with time and money, these are a much smaller part of my life than they were when I was, say at 22.

The difference has been brought to high relief recently by my increased lethargy and weight gain. Last winter I worked so hard to drop my weight to qualify for insurance. I was lifting weights and running three times a week. I had energy and felt alive. A year later now...

So we decided to invest in a gym membership and I vowed to start riding my bike to work again once daylight and work hours aligned so I wouldn't have to ride in the dark. Not that I distrust the drivers after dark, but... well yeah that's pretty much it. I am allergic to pain -- I break out in girlie sobs.

Fade in the scene to my living room Saturday evening a few weeks ago. I'm on the sofa reading "The Color of Magic" when a member of the bishopric arrives. After some discussion he asks me if I would be willing to serve as the Venture crew advisor for our scout troop. For those unfamiliar with Venture Scouting. It is a high-adventure arm of the Boy Scouts of America. This is the group that does things like rock climbing, outback camping, white-water sports, canyoneering, etc. In essence paragraph one above.

It does mean that I need to postpone my planned trip to Mexico at the end of April to conserve vacation for the Summer's activities, but fortunately I hadn't bought tickets yet.

The solutions to my melancholy that came to my mind were things like joining a martial arts school or getting ski passes or buying a raft (which means building a shed to hold it). None of these are financially viable now.

It's nice, sometimes, to know that somebody knows better than me. Sometimes the Rolling Stones get it right. "If you try sometimes you might find that you get what you need".